Free and Clean

Oh my goodness... God just uses everything as a learning lesson 

Our little Capo got sick.. made a mess in his cage/bed and got yuck all matted in his fur.. pretty icky and pitiful.. and all he wanted was to be held and comforted while he wasn't feeling well.. so I set about giving him a good scrub just now.. and lo and behold, God just started talking as he often does...

Capo was not happy at all.. looked for ways to jump out of the bath.. shook himself a cpl times to be met with being fussed at.. suds all over his head while his dirty little face looked up at me with very very sad eyes.. but there was no question in the matter, he was stinky and wasn't getting out til he was clean again..

Instantly the Lord brought all that is happening in our nation to my mind at the moment... and his call to repentance, his heart for the restoration of his children, and the necessary unpleasantness that must ensue. We are not happy with the process, we look for ways to run, to jump out of the spotlight, to be free of what we are having to face in the next few moments... our hearts are saddened, discouragement and depression stand at the door, hope seems a memory as the flood water rises.. but God has not left us.. rather he is talking us thru it.. trying to explain.. pleading for us to understand what is necessary to clean us up again..

I told Capo that he would feel much better after it was over.. I told him to think about how many hugs he would get and that ppl wouldn't push him away saying he was too stinky to hold.. and how that washing the yuck away would kill all the germs and help him to get well.. God brought so many thoughts and parallels to mind about the state of our nation as I talked to this little guy about him getting clean again...

I rinsed him finally, took him up in my arms and wrapped a fresh fluffy towel around him.. even tho he looked like a drowned rat or a shivering chihuahua at that moment, I told him how much better he smelled and how pretty he was.. and I meant it.. because I was comparing it to the yuck he was just covered in.. I got him dried off.. well relatively so.. and set him down.. he ran all around the house.. jumping and happy and full of energy.. seemingly doing the Snoopy dance, haha... clearly feeling much better..

I was laughing at him and heard myself saying.. "yay! doesn't it feel good to be free again.. free and clean?!"

And I felt like God said, that's what he wants to be able to say to us as a nation, as ppl, as his children. But there is a scrubbing process that has to come first. At the moment, America, you and me.. we're stinky.. we need a good scrub in our Father's hands before we can be free and clean again. Thank God he loves us so much. Thank God that he doesn't give up on us. Thank God for doing whatever it takes, no matter how much it requires of him.. Thank God for working all things for our good, even when it is work for him and unpleasantness for us..

Eye on the prize.
There is an end to necessary discipline.
And then,
There is joy and a celebration waiting <3

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Capo gets sick from time to time cuz he keeps sneaking things and eating things that he's not sposed to have... his little tummy is just too sensitive and it ends up making him very sick... who does that remind you of.. our spiritual stomachs weren't designed to eat certain things, and yet we take it in and eat it up cuz it tastes so tempting and yummie.. but the consequence is bitter in our belly.. and we make a mess as sickness sets in.. cleaning up requires all of the unpleasantness.. but it also requires being mindful of what we feed our spirit man.. and not stealing and partaking of things that we have no business sampling no matter how fun or tempting they seem.

Cleaning up the inside as well as the outside...

Twisted

You know how crippled my feet are and how often I fall to the ground,

And yet you help me up each time and continue to trust me to carry so much.
You put precious and fragile things in my hands,
things that belong to you, things that are close to your heart,
and I fall and they scatter on the ground.

But you keep them from breaking
and you dust them off and you hand them back to me,
trusting me each time
as though you don't remember my many stumbles and falls...
as though you don't see my crippled feet...
as though you don't expect me to fall again for the millionth time.

Why would you trust me with so much?
Me, a cripple?
Mangled and twisted feet that struggle along in imperfection
failing to advance by leaps and bounds,
always creeping along,
always searching for strength and balance,
always weak?

Yet you continue to be strong, you continue to trust me, you continue to love me.

How can such love exist in a world that is so full of darkness,
a world that is so unworthy of your presence, so blind to your awesome beauty,
so undeserving of your affection and your contant care?

I don't know.

but it is that love
that guides my feet and my heart to find the strength to get up again.
And it is that love
that makes me able to move forward,
ever so slowly, but always forward.

I will never understand it.
It will continue to amaze me each and every moment,
forever.

Without you, I would remain a cripple in the gutter, begging,
at the mercy of a dark and truly evil world.
Alone and hopeless.

but because of your presence,
I have a companion,
a comforting voice that speaks wisdom,
a friend,

a strong arm reaching out to me --
I have someone that trusts me,
that encourages me,
that gives me direction and purpose in this life, in this world,
in my weakness.

Either way,
I am a cripple.
but life is worth living because you see me
as healthy and able and whole.

And as you help me to see myself as you see me,
I am falling less often, though I still fall.
And it is easier to find the strength I need along the way,
because you place it near me, at arm's length,
so I only need to reach for it
to find it.

The world is still dark,
My feet are still twisted,
and I stumble along and fall quite often.

But my heart is full of light
and your hand is always there for me when I'm face down in the dirt.

So I continue to get up and to stand.

I continue to hold tight to all that you have entrusted to me,
and I continue forward in search of more of you,
in search of the things you have made mention of
in our many conversations along the way.

in search of our final destination together
when this dark world will be only a memory that we seldom think of,
and my feet will be as you have always seen them,

never stumbling,

forever strong and perfect.

(from my journal, 2007)