yes.. apologize.

~ The church has made everything a party or about fun filled fellowship.. as they have removed the altar from the church and cancelled wed night meetings...

It's as though we no longer order our lives around such things with God as center..
And have made our lives center, and ordered the things of God around it.

scary...

~ No wonder we are a generation of the church who reject anything that doesn't make us feel positive and the center of attention...

~ Sometimes offense isn't about what a person says or how they said it.. sometimes offense is about the truth in what they said.. 

Some of the things that I have been most offended by have come from the mouth of my children.. because it wasn't so much what they said or the sarcasm and rebellion they spoke it in.. but it was the truth in what they said.

The Spirit of Truth holds such things up so that we cannot escape the convicting pull upon our hearts.. the ill motive of what someone says doesn't undo the cleansing that might be necessary in our own hearts.

Sometimes it is merely condemnation that hell wants to put upon us..
but sometimes it is something God has already been dealing with us to change..

Let each man work out his own salvation..
And be careful not to judge others in matters that God is guiding them to or leading them thru 

~ I remember when my children were little.. and the motive of one of them was clearly sin so they were being made to apologize when they didn't want to.. and they blurted out in anger, "but YOU never have to apologize!"

That parental, authority figure, pharisee thing tried to rear it's ugly head in denial cuz it had become habit to think, I'm the parent, I'm usually right, God told me to lead, this child is merely trying to rebel.. but the Holy Spirit just quietly and lovingly held it up for me to see more clearly, to see past my pride, past my arrogance, past my offense... and as I stared at it in a moment of silence, I chose to embrace what the Spirit of Truth was saying.

I knew there were many times when I had told my children I was sorry.. when I failed to handle things correctly or with right motive.. but as I thought on it, I realized that there were more times than not that I failed to say I was sorry to them when I should have.. I should have stepped out of that role of the authority figure, no matter how exhausted, no matter how stressed, no matter how busy.. and humbled myself and asked their forgiveness and gave them room to choose to forgive me. As parents we get so caught up in leading our children and caring for the family sometimes that we fail to be consistent in treating them with the same courtesy that we require they treat others with. Or we just go on as though they don't need to hear an apology every time, as tho it's not important. But it is.

I remember being in a Bible Study once and during prayer at the end our pastor who was leading it said that he was going thru some things and just needed prayer tho he gave no specifics. He asked for us to gather around him as he knelt in the floor and humbled himself to receive prayer from those whom he was leading. I was overwhelmed at the mere gesture, the thought that my prayers could carry such weight in his heart and mind, this man that mentored me and that I had such great respect for.. that he would kneel and ask us as new believers to pray for him, such a great man of God.

Being raised Roman Catholic by a strict military father, with such a respect for authority ground into me so deeply.. the experience fashioned a big part of my character as a young believer that I have carried in my heart.. no matter how great a leader/teacher you ever become.. you will reflect Christ the most when you humble yourself not only to God first, but also to those you teach and lead. It was so powerful in my life. And I have learned that it is a rare treasure to encounter such leaders.. but when you run across one, with all their imperfection that is humanity, that authentic glimpse of Christ changes you and moves you to seek to follow their example, to be like Christ.

The experience with my child brought all that back.. and it changed me.. the Lord used it more as a learning and maturing lesson for me than a rebuke or discipline over bad behavior. It made me a better parent, a better teacher, a better person, as it compelled me to be more consistent in being quick to apologize when I have wronged someone. And I pray that seeing the change in me, changed my children, and the many children I have taught in church and educational settings. To be unafraid to stand for truth and what is right, and yet unafraid to humble themselves and apologize when they have wronged someone as well.

Ppl seldom apologize these days.. they so often mumble words of sorrow that pop in their head.. like a reflex reaction rooted in memories from grade school or that mom made you say.. but to truly be moved over the wrong you committed or the hurt you have caused is such a rare thing. We as leaders (parents, teachers, older siblings, pastors, officials, peers, friends, etc)... fail to realize the weight that a genuine heart-felt apology carries when someone receives it from an authority figure who mis-steps along the way.

Talk about discipling and training a generation...
Talk about leading by example..

Talk about it..
but it's so much more effective when you actually do it.

DON'T APOLOGIZE as a knee jerk response to be polite, cuz then it cheapens authenticity.. but if and when the Spirit of God turns the light on and the sight of yourself or something you've done begins to bring Godly conviction..

SAY YOU'RE SORRY
heart to heart
friend to friend