good conversations

~ Hard to find Prosch music on youtube.. not sure why.. but I sure do love his spirit.. he just speaks my heart so articulately.. strictly speaking in terms of his conversations with God and about his conversations with God.. (Altho, I think I have all of Prosch's cds.. have gleaned used ones over the years and then bought any new ones he brought out.. just wanted to hear his conversations with God cuz they usually included many things from my own conversations)...

~ never having parents and taught to fear God as a good Catholic girl.. God was my parents.. I was alone alot, and all my conversations were with him.. always in fear and respect..., knowing all things were by his hand and according to his will..

Then when I heard the plan of salvation at the age of 19 for the first time.. I so completely fell in love with Jesus. He's the only one who was always there for me, even when I didn't even know he was there, didn't even know he existed. I knew Father God and he was everything to me.. but to know Jesus and to have him open up his arms and want to hold me close and laugh with me and welcome me to sit warmly with him and just talk about everything.. there is nothing more amazing .


~ I was spoiled terribly by my mom the first five years of my life, my dad was a soldier and overseas alot. After she died, I lived in the same houses as my father but saw little of him. At 16, I moved around to six different high schools and lived with family or friends or helped on a horse farm to earn my keep. It was an interesting way to grow up... but every night I would talk to God, and he would always listen. I had no doubt he was there or that he heard me, I didn't look for answers to my requests, I just knew that he was God and I could trust that what ever happened would be right. He was in control of all things.. it wasn't complicated or spiritual or some deep logic, it was simple truth. And before I even fully understood our relationship, he kept his promise anyway -- he never left me and always assured me he was listening. Is it any wonder why I love him so much <3

~ He was there for me and loved me unconditionally.. he taught me right and wrong by his Spirit but never condemned me or rejected me because I failed to measure up. I wasn't just Catholic.. I was Roman Catholic.. and we weren't even allowed to read the Bible in those days, because we weren't holy enough. We had to go to God thru a priest or nun.. and even then in our conversations, it was always with my eyes tightly closed and my hands clenched in prayer, unworthy to even look up at God. Can you imagaine how incredible the love of Christ was to me at 19? It was honestly a revelation, that I could actually approach God.. that he actually sacrificed so much so that I could crawl up in his lap as his little girl.. there's just no way to explain it.


~ "But the centurion replied, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you come under my roof, but only say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I too am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. And I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes, and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes, and to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” "
(Matt 8 )

God doesn't expect you to meet some criterion or walk some rigid li...ne.. he just wants you to understand what is good. Determine to wholeheartely walk in the direction of what is good, and he is the one who will make our path straight.. we will walk a messy line every time, but it is Christ who guides us along in ways only he is able to do so that when our path is mentioned at all.. it is in line without flaw with the will and mercy and widsom of God.

Stop refusing to be content with what is.
Stop looking back and scrutinizing things you can't change.
Stop being so hard on yourself.

He knows your heart.. then and now.
He gets you, be at peace


~ If you are feeling challenged in ways that make you feel like you are drowning and failing and have no hope, you need to stop that thing in your life. That is not God.

If you are feeling challenged in ways that make you feel uncomfortable so that you take a breath, readjust, and move in a direction that brings encouragement to please God, you need to accept that challenge. That is definitely the leading of his Spirit.

Condemnation robs you of hope, makes you feel smothered, and is not of God.
Conviction will always show you the next step to move toward hope, encouragement, healing and all the good things that God has provided to move you to a win.

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
(Rom 8 )


~ I felt like God would say to whoever is reading this today..

"Stop being so hard on yourself."

Whatever that pertains to between the two of you.. your work, how you see yourself, all that you want to do, the excellence you strive for but feel ur not reaching, your life as a parent, your life as someone's adult child... whatever it is that you have been turning over in your heart lately that is robbing you of peace.

Check your heart, you know you both see it, just do the best you can. That's all he is asking of you.

Just breathe.. and stop being so hard on yourself ,