with me

I look back over my childhood and my life and there is so much that is ugly.. but the amazing thing is that it makes the rare and beautiful moments shine so vividly against a backdrop of so much darkness.. and those beautiful moments always involve the ppl in my life that loved me and that I loved... makes me think of Christ.. as does every good and true thing in this world.

When I became a Christian, he literally flashed my life before me.. and I came to realize that every instance where I thought I was alone or I felt like I was alone facing some trauma (which was about every six months).. he was there. Every time someone died or had to leave, every time I suffered abuse at the hands of adults, every surgery and health issue, every time I was hungry or afraid or forgotten or betrayed.. he saw every tear, threw his arms around me taking the bulk of each blow, and he sheilded me so that I could bear it.. and he led me out of it.. and he talked me thru it a little further up and a little further into this journey with him. 

We walked thru many fires together and he kept me from being burned without fail.

I used to blog about my life, and got many responses from ppl questioning that so much could happen to one person.. and for the first time, I realized just how massive the presence of God has been in my life.. I don't know why.. I only know that I am humbled by it and in awe of his love for this dirty faced little raggamuffin that no one wanted.. a lost little girl who wandered along this path that he blazed just for me, as he led me home. I wasn't worthy, I wasn't special, I wasn't even aware of it most of the time.. I was simply loved without reason.

And now as a christian, I continue down this path with him.. little has changed in this life.. but I have changed.. there are still valleys I walk thru and times when I feel alone again.. but he is quick to make his presence known and felt.. and that is the grace and power that moves me from strength to strength.. that is the joy that is my strength.. the presence of my God and Friend... with me.

And that is pretty much everyones' story.
Everyone that calls upon the name of Jesus...
And believes.
Yours too, if you want it.
If you wanna walk with him with me <3